The Meek, the Sweet, and the Slightly Insane
by Kerowyn6
Summary: No Nico romance. Gemma Glenden, Demeter's child, is as timid as you get. Melbourne Corely, Apollo's child, is the happiest, most smiley halfblood you'll ever meet. Nico di Angelo, Hades' son, is exasperated. Rachel has been finding riddles left all over the camp: when the demigods solve one, another appears. What are these riddles and why are they there?
1. Gemma Glenden and Melbourne Corely

**Hi, welcome to the Meek, the Sweet, and the Slightly Insane! I hope you all like it, and review, _review,_ REVIEW!**

**Please?**

Gemma Glenden was never the top student at Dogbert A. Johnson Middle School. Then again, she was never at the bottom of the class either. She was always in the middle, and because her father was extremely competitive and always urged her to beat everyone else in the class, she had retreated into herself. Inside, she didn't need to worry about getting yelled at by her father. Inside, she didn't need to fret about being bullied by Dora Flinnely. Inside, she could create her own worlds and live in them. Inside, she could put herself into her favorite stories. She had created characters for herself in Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Artemis Fowl, Discworld...so many she had lost count. Her personas were everything Gemma had never thought she was: they were beautiful, smart, powerful, and popular. Everyone loved them. They went around beating the bad guys and saving their friends. Gemma wanted to be one of her characters more than almost anything else in the world.

Dogbert A. Johnson Middle School was a good school. Or at least a good school by the standards of tiny public schools in the middle of Nebraska. Nebraska is not a state famed for producing academic geniuses, but Dogbert A. Johnson was doing its best to rectify that. But no school can keep the level of bullying at an absolute zero, and that was why Gemma got teased almost constantly.

"Hey, look, girls! It's Cinderella!" shouted Dora Flinnely as Gemma crossed the yard, a pile of books in her arms, "It seems that since she insists on playing the wronged princess, we better be the evil stepsisters! Come on, Glenden, introduce us to your fairy godmother!"

Gemma tried to ignore Dora and her friends, but it wasn't easy, especially since Dora was pretty and popular, and if she were only nice she would have been the sort of person Gemma worshipped. But since Dora _wasn't _nice, Gemma didn't understand why everyone else liked her. Gemma was too socially awkward to understand that nobody actually did.

Making a half-hearted effort to dodge the snowballs thrown at her, Gemma crossed the yard and quietly opened the door to her classroom. Her favorite teacher, Ms. Donner, looked up as Gemma entered. She nodded a good morning, and went back to her grading. Gemma slipped into her seat next to the window, and while she waited for Home Economics to start, buried herself in her book.

_Noel spun around, _she read, _but it was too late. The flicker in her peripheral vision was gone. She tapped her cheek sensor, and whispered into the mike that she had a lock on the rogue's position. Blasted traitor, she thought! Why would anyone betray the very society that had fed and provisioned them? Why would anyone attempt to remove their machinery and become human again, instead of a supernaturally enhanced cyborg?_

What Gemma wouldn't give to live in that world! The mystery, the adventure, the thrill of it all! But here was Noel, the epitome of who she wanted to be, chasing a rogue cyborg, someone who had defied the law of their land and claimed the freedom that they had sacrificed in becoming something more than human. What was wrong with this government that someone would do that? She buried herself in her book again.

"Hello, class!" called Ms. Donner, startling Gemma out of the world of courageous heroines and into the world of cookies, houseplants, and child care, "This is Melbourne Corely, and she will be joining our class for today, and staying at this school if she likes it. Could you tell us a little about yourself, Melbourne?" she turned to the girl,

and small, petite thing in sweat-pants and a "No pegasi were harmed in the making of this shirt" tee, with cropped black hair and dark skin. Melbourne smiled and said:

"I'm fourteen. I come from Alaska, where I lived until I was twelve, when I moved to Manhattan. I'm happy to be in Nebraska, since I don't like big cities. I like Grateful Dead and U2."

"Thank you, Melbourne! Now, class, today we are going to be replanting flowers, may I please have a volunteer to pass out the plants? Ah, thank you, Christopher..." said Ms. Donner as Melbourne slipped into the seat next to Gemma's. Gemma smiled timidly at her, and Melbourne returned the smile with a wide grin.

No one had smiled like that at Gemma before. It made her feel good.

The next hour-and-a-half passed like lightning for Gemma. While her classmates struggled with the task of transferring the baby plant to the earthenware pot, Gemma had finished her own and was now helping Melbourne, who didn't seem to understand that plants can't feed themselves if their roots have been ripped off.

"Thanks," said Melbourne as the two girls worked, "You seem pretty nice compared to the blonde who was giving me the evil eye while Ms. Donner was making me talk."

Gemma giggled. Melbourne seemed to be the only person who shared her opinion of Dora.

"So..." said Melbourne, "You're pretty good at potting plants. Are you good at Home Economics in general?"

Gemma shook her head. "I'm not really good at anything. This is the first time we've done something with plants. The only other time I did really well was when we mixed our own cereal. That was a lot of fun." She looked up, surprised that she had told this girl she had only met half an hour ago as much as she had. If Melbourne saw her expression, she didn't say anything, just nodded.

"I had the same problem in Alaska. I couldn't do anything until I moved to Manhattan, and I found out I was really good at basketball. Who knew? Maybe you'll be a botanist when you grow up."

Gemma smiled. A botanist... she certainly liked plants. They didn't yell at her, which could be said for almost nothing else in her life.

"Do you have plants in your back yard?" asked Melbourne, and when Gemma nodded, said: "How quickly do they grow compared to other plants?"

"I don't know. I've never seen any other plants but them."

"Good point. Let me rephrase that: how long do the sprouts take to come up after you planted the seed?

"A while. Ten minutes at least."

"Ten minutes?! _Ten?! _That's amazing, Gemma! For most of us plants can take a couple of days! It seems that you, my friend, have a green thumb. A _very _green thumb."

"Cool," Gemma gave a small smile, "Am I really your friend?"

"Well, you're nice, so why not?" A warm feeling was enveloping Gemma. Someone liked her. Wanted to be her friend! That hadn't happened since preschool.

"Class dismissed!" called Ms. Donner as the bell rang, "Remember, I want you to take pictures of the growth of your plant over the break! Got it? Right. Merry Christimas, everyone!"

Gemma and the rest of her class shuffled out. At the door, a boy Gemma had never seen before stopped her and Melbourne.

"Hi, I'm new," he said, "Could I have a word with you?"

Gemma glanced around. Ms. Donner was gone. So were her other classmates except for Melbourne, who was glaring at the boy.

Before she could answer, her new friend cut in. "No! Absolutely not! Don't you dare come near her!"

"Woah, someone's being touchy! I just want one word; I will have that word and there's nothing you can do about it, _daughter of Apollo."_


	2. Asphyxiating Canine

Melbourne narrowed her eyes at the boy, trying to place what it was that was wrong about him. The artificial beauty... the too sharp teeth... he seemed too plasticky to be real. There could only be one reason.

Monster. 

"No! Absolutely not!" she said, just in time, "Don't you dare come near her!" 

He turned to her, a fierce light in his eyes that reminded her of her best friend when he got really mad, and said sarcastically: 

"Woah, someone's being touchy!" 

When she moved her hand, reaching for her necklace, he snarled at her. 

"I just want one word; I will have that word and there's nothing you can do about it, daughter of Apollo." 

That stung, though he probably hadn't thought it would. Melbourne had been excited when she found out that she had the blood of gods in her, but when she discovered that her father was god of the sun, archery, and poetry, she had gotten annoyed. She hated herself for it, she thought she was being selfish, but if she was going to live a life of danger then she wanted to have some cool powers. Not being good at basketball. Poetry was nice and all, but as far as she could tell the only way you could use poetry as a weapon was if you read aloud some of her father's. That would do the trick. And then Chiron had found out that she had a knack for discovering half-bloods, and instead of quests and camp he asked her to find demigods... She hadn't had the heart to refuse.

"Daughter of Apollo?" she heard Gemma gasp, then say in her hesitant little voice: "Like, from Greek mythology? Is that some sort of cult?" 

"I'll tell you later," Melbourne replied, "For now, get out-" 

It was too late. The monster, whatever he was, lunged, and Melbourne pushed Gemma out of the way. The monster spun around, his blond hair flying and catapulting Melbourne with the sickly sweet scent of his cologne, and backhanded her. She flew through the air, and as she flew she thought: Okay... I've seen Nico do a roll to cushion his fall. Let's see if I can do it... 

Ow.

Apparently not. 

Aching all over, Melbourne picked herself off the ground, reaching as she did so for her necklace. The monster had cornered Gemma next to the cracked window; the girl was clutching at her plant like it was a lifeline. The "new boy" had sprouted scarred ears and was hunched over, claws extending from his scabby fingertips. A werewolf. Too bad she was fresh out of silver. 

She flicked the switch on her golden choker necklace anyway, because you never knew what would work if you really needed it to, and her gold-painted quiver extended over her back. An elegantly curved bow materialized in her hand.

Oh, damn. She would really have to talk to her dad about the little "tra-laa!" the bow made when it formed. It was a serious disadvantage in fights like this one; the werewolf spun around, a glittering saber in its furred, paw-like hand. 

Melbourne slung an arrow out of the quiver and nocked it on the string, pulling back and releasing almost in the same instant. The golden shaft buried itself in the werewolf's shoulder, but the beast just snarled and kept approaching Gemma, rickety desks flying in its wake. 

"Damndamndamndamndamn!" muttered Melbourne distractedly, her gaze searching the antiquated classroom for something, anything that would help her.

The crash of breaking pottery sounded from behind her, and she knew that Gemma had thrown the plant. Lot of good that would do. 

But the sound of splintering wood stopped, and suddenly a sort of muffled growl was the only sound in the wrecked classroom. Melbourne spun around, only to see Gemma cowering in the corner of the room, her arms waving wildly, trying to fend off the attack that would never come. For the werewolf was lying on the floor, limbs jerking, form flickering between perfect human and savage beast. The important part of the scenario, though, was the fact that he was being slowly suffocated by a living, writhing, potted petunia.

The coral blossoms were waving frantically in a nonexistent wind, and the normally unvinelike stems were looking suspiciously like vines. Gemma, who Melbourne assumed to be the one controlling the murderous plant, had her eyes shut as tightly as possible. Once the noise of asphyxiating canine had halted completely, she folded slowly until she was curled up by the wall and looked around dazedly. Then she giggled.

It was the not-quite-down-to-earth giggle of those who have just had a near death experience, that is to say, a giggle that sounded more than a little crazy.

"Mean green mama from outer space..." she said giddily, which only made her giggle harder. 

Melbourne stared at her for a moment, swaying slightly from side to side, and then flicked the tiny switch on her choker necklace. The golden bow and quiver disappeared into a shiny mist with a little "bad-a-bam!" noise which Melbourne thought was quite possibly the most annoying sound she had ever heard. 

Gemma didn't notice. She was still in her corner, laughing at random jokes about carnivorous plants and twirling a strand of her thin brown hair around one finger. 

Daughter of Demeter, Melbourne thought. Not surprising. But what with controlling a plant to suffocate a monster out of storybooks, Gemma probably had enough on her mind. Melbourne decided not to burden her quite yet with the knowledge that her mother was a goddess.

"Hey, Gemma?" she said gently, "We have to get out of here." 

"What?" Gemma straightened and sobered up, "Why? Isn't it super important that we tell the CIA that monsters exist?"

"Um, no." This was going to be hard to explain, "Just trust me. We need to go." 

"Trust you? After you made a bow and a quiver of arrows appear out of nowhere? You seem nice, Melbourne, but you're going to need to give me some more concrete proof than that. Sorry," she added as an afterthought.

Melbourne sighed. This was a side of Gemma that she had not seen at first.

"Okay. This is going to sound really odd," she warned, "but it's all true. You've just got to hear me out." 

"I will," promised Gemma, "You've only got three minutes, though. Then the class comes in." 

"Got it. Anyway, you know all those Greek myths about gods and monsters and such?" Melbourne asked, then plunged on without waiting for an answer," Well, they're all true." 

Gemma's eyes widened.

"Yeah. I know. Sometimes the gods, ummm... have a brief affair with a mortal. Ermm... a very brief affair. Meaning, they date the human for a few days, then go away and leave the human to raise a child by themselves." Melbourne's voice was bitter, "Most of us grow up like normal kids, until we're about your age, and then we either attract monsters or satyrs. If we're lucky, the satyrs take us to a special camp for half-blooded children of the gods." 

"And... if we're not lucky?"

"Then we die. Monsters aren't too friendly." 

"So, that werewolf thing was a monster? And- I'm a daughter of an ancient Greek god?" Gemma was talking hesitantly, as though she couldn't believe the realization that was overtaking her. Small wonder, Melbourne thought. 

"Yep. Daughter of Demeter, unless I'm mistaken, and I don't think I am, because there's no other explanation for your uncanny ability to a) make plants grow in under an hour and b) suffocate werewolves with otherwise innocent pots of petunias."

Gemma didn't reply, just looked slightly shell-shocked and stared vacantly at the cupboard containing math textbooks.

"So, do you believe me?" Gemma gave a small nod, "Good. Up you get, then, and let's make sure you arrive in one piece at Camp Half-Blood." When the daughter of Demeter didn't move, she added gently, "Which won't happen if we hang around here waiting for the next monster to come." 

"All right." Gemma seemed to have escaped her reverie, "How are we going to get to this camp of yours?"

"We're going to fly. On horseback." 

"Flying horses?" 

"More precisely, one flying horse. But yes, pretty much. Let's go take the pegasus express." 


	3. An Overload of Info

Nico di Angelo was not having a particularly good day. Most of his problems had to do with the irritating daughter of Apollo who had decided he needed a best friend, despite his protestations to the contrary, and then, when all else had failed, threats of eternal punishment. He had tried to shake her off, but she was so damn _cheerful_. She just bounced back. The trouble was, he recognized that although she was exasperating beyond belief, she actually did want to make him less lonely. She was that sort of person. She saw someone lonely; she decided to become their best friend.

Gods, she was annoying.

And here she was again. Thirteen days of blessed peace, and after Connor, who Nico suspected of having a crush on Melbourne, had wondered out loud whether she had found a half-blood yet, here she was. Speak of the devil and she shall come.  
Melbourne was standing at the pegasus stable with a small, slightly shellshocked-looking girl in a green dress. She had put her arm around the girl's shoulders, holding her steady. She gestured around with her unoccupied arm, and- oh no, Melbourne had seen him. She was leading the girl over now. Maybe he could sneak- too late. Here she was now, smiling first at him, then at the new girl, then around at the countryside in general, then at Clarisse, sitting on a bench some meters away, who had stopped sharpening her knife to watch, probably hoping Nico would finally explode and a bloody fight would ensue.

"Hi, Nico," she said, smiling her permanently blasted smile, "This is Gemma, who is almost certainly a daughter of Demeter. Gemma, this is Nico, son of Hades."

Gemma gave Nico a timid smile and bobbed her head. Nico managed a 'pleased to meet you'.

"What is Hades god of again?" Gemma asked quietly.

Nico glanced at Clarisse, who had gone back to her sharpening.

"Death," he said shortly. "Among other things." He smirked as Gemma's eyes widened.

"Oh," she said softly. Melbourne frowned disapprovingly at Nico, who simply shrugged and raised his eyebrows at her.

"Nice to meet you, goodbye," he said before Melbourne could start to chat about anything, from the sky to what Katie Gardner had told her to the weather in Idaho. He semi-sprinted to his cabin, glancing behind surreptitiously. Not that he thought anyone would follow him in there-it was unheard of for campers to venture into Cabin 13 uninvited, except that one incident with Connor, Travis, and a very large amount of molasses-but you never knew with Melbourne Corely. But no, she was wandering over to Clarisse, who took a sudden intense interest in the hilt of her knife.

Nico smiled grimly and shut the door.

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It was another world for Gemma. A world out of her fantasies, a world that was exciting and dangerous and interesting. A world in which she could be the like the characters she had created for herself: competent, cool, respected, powerful... Gemma was on cloud nine.

Melbourne grabbed her arm, yanking her out of her reverie.

"This," she said, pulling her over to a muscular girl examining the hilt of her knife, "is Clarisse LaRue, daughter of Ares. Clarisse, this is Gemma Glenden, probably-daughter of Demeter."

"Shove off, Corely," Clarisse said gruffly, then to Gemma: "Get out of my sight, or the toilets will get into yours."

All right, maybe it wasn't a perfect world, but it was close. Not even bullies could pull Gemma down to the earth at the moment.

Melbourne frowned.

"Are you all right, Clarisse? You seem sort of... grouchy."

Clarisse turned slowly to face her.

"If I'm grouchy, Corely, it might have something to with you coming up and interrupting my sharpening!" She pointed the knife at Melbourne. "Now go away, or you'll spend the night in the infirmary!"

"All right, I'm going. Here, Gemma, I'll introduce more people to you. And show you around and explain stuff, of course." She beamed at Clarisse, who pretended to ignore her. "I hope you feel better, Clarisse."

As they wandered down the path toward the training ground, Melbourne gave Gemma an apologetic smile.

"Sorry about that," she said cheerfully, "She's not normally so- well, now that I think about it that was about normal behavior for her. Daughter of Ares, you know." She bounced on her feet, peering over the crest of the hill. "Oh, it's Rachel! Come on, Gemma!"

Dragging Gemma after her, she trotted up to the red haired girl whose expression, although troubled, reminded Gemma vaguely of J. 's descriptions of Luna Lovegood.

"Hi, Rachel!" grinned Melbourne. Good God, she had to be the happiest person Gemma had ever met. She positively bounced. Gemma was sure she hadn't been as smiley back in Nebraska. It had to be the fact that they were at this camp thing.

The girl- Rachel, wasn't it?- smiled wanly back at Melbourne.

"Hi, Mel," she replied, "Is this the new girl?"

Gemma nodded shyly. Rachel held out her hand.

"I'm Rachel, the Oracle of Delphi," she said warmly, and then, at Gemma's blank look, added: "I speak prophecies. Sometimes."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Gemma." The chick was coming out of its shell, but hesitantly, hesitantly.

"Glad to meet you to, and I'd stay to chat, but I need to go see Chiron about something. See you 'round." And she strode away down the hill.

"I wonder what was wrong, she looked upset. Come on, I'll find more people for you to meet!"

More people. Gemma was never a social person, and she wasn't sure how many more introductions she could handle.

"Melbourne!" came a shout from the foot of the hill. "Lacy told me you were back. Where've you been?"

"Connor?" called Melbourne. "Is that you?"

"Yep!"

"Great! I've got someone for you to meet- eek!"

"What? Melbourne? Are you all right?"

Melbourne, Gemma saw, had stepped on a sort of gel pad and, as far as Gemma could tell, couldn't unstick her foot.

And now Gemma saw a teenager who was probably Connor, running up the hill for all he was worth. He was an impish boy with an expression that just spelled out T-R-O-U-B-L-E-M-A-K-E-R.

"Melbourne?" he shouted. "What's going on? Is it- oh, not again. Travis, I am going to murder you. Where are you?"

A group of sniggering teens appeared from behind a bush. Connor assumed an expression of tested patience and severity and preceded to tell the campers off.

"Honestly! I'm ashamed of you! All of you! To think you would ambush an unsuspecting-"

"Aww, Connor's defending his damsel!" interrupted one of them, a boy who so resembled Connor the two had to be related.

"So sweet!" cooed an elfish-looking girl.

"Connor and Melbourne, sitting in a tree-"

"Come off it, guys!" complained Connor, who'd turned so red he looked like he'd attempted to camouflage with the surrounding strawberry fields.

"K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love-" the entire gang of pranksters had picked up the chant now. Connor turned to Melbourne and indicated that they should leave him to defend himself alone.

"I'll manage," he whispered stoically when Melbourne protested.

Gemma glance back once, when they'd finished the chant, in time to see the elf girl mock-faint into the leader's arms.

Melbourne rushed her through a few more introductions with campers who crossed their path- Molly, daughter of Nike; Jorge, son of Hephaestus; and Carrie, daughter of Aphrodite- and finally they came to the training ground. Gemma didn't need Melbourne's explanation ("And this," she said, waving her arm wildly around in a gesture that encompassed most of North America, "is the training ground."); it was obvious from the dozens of campers sparring, climbing, and target training what the area was designated to.

The nearest campers were an older-looking boy and girl slashing at each other with bronze-colored blades, clearly trying their utmost to get past the other's guard. Melbourne glanced at them and then motioned for Gemma stand back a little. They waited until the fight was finally over- a stalemate in which the boy got his blade at the girl's stomach, the girl stomped on his foot, and both declared the other had won- and then Melbourne stepped forward as they mopped their sweat-sodden hair out of their eyes. She yanked Gemma up with her.

"This is Gemma Glenden, who's definitely a daughter of Demeter," chirped Mebourne to the two teens. Then to Gemma: "This," she indicated the tan, black-haired boy, "is Percy Jackson, son of Poseidon."

Percy nodded at her.

"What's Poseidon god of?" asked Gemma. "Sorry, I never studied Greek mythology. I just know a few of the gods. You know, Zeus, Ares and Apollo. That's about it."

"Poseidon's god of the ocean," said the blonde girl, sheathing her blade. "He's one of the Big Three: Poseidon, Zeus, and Hades. We have one demigod child of each at camp. I'm Annabeth Chase, by the way. Daughter of Athena. Goddess of wisdom and war," she added before Gemma could ask for an explanation.

"I thought Ares was god of war?" said Gemma tentatively.

"Think about it this way," said the boy, Percy. "Ares is god of bloody massacres. Mindless violence. Raging brutality. That sort of thing. Athena is more the goddess of the art of warfare. Necessary battles. Tactics. You get the idea."

Gemma nodded her thanks as the two wandered over to a ferocious-looking climbing wall.

"They were formidable," she said to Melbourne. The other girl glanced at her in surprise for a second, as though shocked at the fact that she'd spoken. Then  
her face settled.

"Yeah," she said, her expression slightly wistful. "Two of the most powerful demigods at camp. Saved the world a couple of times.

You're jealous, realized Gemma, but she didn't say it aloud.

"Saved the world? Wow," she said instead. "How?"

As they wandered through the training grounds, Gemma got an abbreviated version of The Adventures of Percy & Co., interspersed with introductions and vague gestures so that it sounded something like:

"And then some bad guys attack so everyone ran around- oh, hello Katie, this is Gemma, she'll definitely be in your cabin, Gemma, this is Katie Gardner, head of the Demeter kids. Bye, Katie. Yeah, anyway, there was this big battle, and a bunch of people died, but in the end Daedalus killed himself so that the labyrinth was destroyed and everyone was happy except the people who died, the people who went crazy, and everyone else. Then there was a boat out there (expansive gesture indicating a good part of the Atlantic) and Percy and this guy named Beckendorf went to destroy it, but Beckendorf died-hi Leo! Leo, this is Gemma, Gemma, this is Leo Valdez, he's a son of Hephaestus and he lights himself on fire- Leo! Stop it! This is Gemma Glenden, who strangles werewolves with petunias- Leo! Come back! So, basically even though Beckendorf died, they still got rid of the boat, and then this god, I can't remember his name, but basically he put all of the mortals in Manhattan to sleep, or something like that, and there was a big battle and we won and everyone was happy. Then, twelve or so months ago, Percy disappeared and this guy called Jason showed up, and- here he is now! He quit the Romans to join us. Hey, Jason! This is Gemma! Gemma, this is Jason, son of Jupiter- are you all right, Gemma? You look a bit sick."

Gemma was not sick, just completely overloaded in terms of a bunch of information she didn't understand hitting her all at once.

"Yeah," she managed, "Is there anywhere I can lie down? Please?"

Melbourne looked confusedly at Jason, who shrugged.

"I think you've given her a bit too much info to process at the moment. She'll be fine."

"Okay. You'll probably be claimed tonight, so I don't want to make you a bed in the Hermes cabin just to undo it again." She thought for a moment, then perked up, "Ooh! I know! I'll show you the woods. There's places in there where the moss is really comfortable. Come on!"

She grabbed Gemma's hand and yanked her unceremoniously past a group of Ares campers hacking at each other with battle axes, which did nothing for Gemma's health, and onto a trail head of the edge of the training field.

The woods were cool, and Gemma started to feel better almost immediately. Soft rays of sunlight shone through the canopy of green and onto the moist ground below. Birds whistled at each other from the treetops. Melbourne lowered her voice and even stopped talking completely for seconds at a time.

The path wound this way and that through the tall trees, past clumps of rocks and fallen branches. Everything was calmer and quieter. Gemma relaxed.

"There's a little copse not far ahead," murmured Melbourne. "We can stop there."

The copse was small indeed: little more than a couple of boulders and a space about two meters wide cleared of tree. Gemma eased herself down on the fluffy moss stared up at the blue sky above.

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Hi everyone! Happy holidays! I think this is the longest chapter I've ever written. Please review!


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